I am writing this sentence. Well, actually, I'm typing it. Not very efficiently I might add. I never really formally learned to type. I usually use just 3 fingers on each hand, it feels a bit awkward, I can feel a little struggle, but it works for me. Yep... So... why am I talking about this nonsense? Simple, I thought I'd take a little exercise in writing, er... typing. It's been ages since I've done this, or at least, wanted to do this. To be honest, I am forcing myself a bit, pushing in some effort where my body refuses to naturally flow it. This is a filler sentence.
I used to be passionate about blogging, I'd take the time to remember all the interesting points of my day and try to talk about it as wittily as possible. So yeah I mentioned passion, well passion's gone friends. Not just for blogging, or writing, or anything for that matter. I've lost passion for everything. I've become... a zombie if you will, wake up, get on the computer, do mindless things, kill time. Do I enjoy it? Yes, to an extent, it entertains me, keeps me "happy". Hell, I don't even go to school, or work, or do anything productive, I just leech off of my hardworking mother. She doesn't even know that I haven't been to school in about a year. I'm a great liar like that. She'll eventually find out the truth, I'll probably get kicked out of my house and I would most likely just kill myself. "ZOMG WHY!?!?", you ask? Well, the easy answer is, I've given up on life, on living, on all this good stuff. I just drift on day to day without purpose, yep that's what I'm doing. You see, people usually have this thing that gets them through life, I think it was called ambition... Or was it dreams... No that's kinda homo, let's just call it... a metaphorical fire under their ass. Mine went out a while ago, so here I am sitting in a pile of ashes rotting. Ooooh, I just deleted a couple sentences that were supposed to be here. Hehe, they were garbage anyway, a forced attempt at being witty/smart/funny you know, the things the ladies like. Man, I've failed, I've gotten bored of typing. I thought that maybe if I tried hard enough, I could get a little something going on and just throw all my garbage issues out in the form of digital letters and be cured of my lack of everything. Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla.
I found this rant in a blog on livejournal written on 5/27/2008. Waht an emotional pierce of work...it reveals a lot about what this guy is going through... I've been there, and i've done these things... I feel a lot like him..I hope he eventually goes home to find himself..
This is a piece written by somebody who is lost...He lives with his mom somewhere in California. Please help me find him...he can still learn a lot...from us from his brotyher and his little sister....
He is my long-lost son...Lyle If you know him , pls. tell him we are here.
2 comments:
Why does a person even get up in the morning? You have breakfast, you floss your teeth so you'll have healthy gums in your old age, and then you get in your car and drive down I-10 and die. Life is so stupid I can't stand it.
-Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams-
Luis, this sounds like typical American alienation, not like the Philippines. I hope he's OK! If you have any clues I'll try to find him.
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